I was talking to friend the other day and we were each sharing our own feelings of having so much to do. Some of this is self induced for sure. Other topics became a bit of a joke staring with ‘Did you hear….’ or ‘I just read….’ . Apparently, I eat the wrong things (although according to some, it is just the occasional banana that is the problem). Surely, my business will fail if I don’t use Instagram. I don’t meditate enough and the reusable water bottles I went out and bought to replace the ones with BPA are now in question. Making school lunches? I would need 2 degrees to get the right nutrition with the right packaging AND have it get eaten. What do I actually want to address? What do I really need to change?
Adding to feelings of being overwhelmed and overly busy, in looking for help, there is a growing trend of people promoting fast ways to address some of these with the ‘x day challenge’ or a ‘free webinar’ neither of which gives you the full solution. Personally, these set me up to stay in a cycle of spinning my wheels. All those ‘x days’ would add up pretty fast and it would just feel like more of ‘too much’. In addition, sifting through all the free webinars takes a lot of time. They also feel stressful – pressure to start today and do it everyday can be long distance from where I am today.
The point is this. Our own core beliefs combined with the wealth of external opinions now available to us about all the things to do or to change, make it increasingly easy to feel inundated. It is easy to feel judged and second guess ourselves.
The good news it this. Lots of talented, experienced and genuine people are out there, wanting to help others do what they have found to be helpful and meaningful in their lives. The bad news is almost the same. So many people are weighing in on topics, passing along information and offering solutions that it can make us pause. The intention is usually to provide awareness, information and help which is ALL good. But, sometimes we start to question too much of what we are doing and that is NOT always good.
In this day and age when information is in our faces almost ALL of our waking hours, how do we stay confident in our abilities and choices? How do we change what we need to without getting caught up in the churn of opinions and self-doubt?
In a previous post, I wrote about change. It does not always happen quickly, just as the situation we want to change did not happen quickly. The real process of change is awareness + action = change. Awareness can happen quickly whereas the action can be the challenge.
Here are the 2 most important questions. What is the thing that is working best in your life? What is the thing you would like to change most? The next 3 parts need to align with the answers to those questions.
Vision helps us have direction and the more specific the vision, the more direct the route to get there. Like a map, having a specific locations in mind gives us far more clarity on direction and feedback that we are on the right path. You can have several visions – long term and short term and your vision can be flexible. As we learn and grow, what we want for our life needs to be influenced as well. It is just important to have a priority so, we can more clearly decide if the choices along the way, lead to where we want to go.
Balance is critical to life. While elusive sometimes, it can bring more awareness and joy to the process which is where the real value is. The experiences of life are what push us to know what our passions are/are not and where we want to invest our energy. They lead us to challenges, growth and change. Balance, therefore, provides more opportunity to experience life and discover how to become more truly aligned with who we want to be. That inner wisdom can be a tremendous asset in deciding what we change next.
If we continue to see what is ‘wrong’, it gets bigger. The same is true for seeing what is ‘right’. The more clear and confident we are in ourselves, the more we can experience the world with strong filters and boundaries. These are what help us to keep close what we choose and let go of the rest. That shift in perspective also helps in sticking to the baby steps that take you in the right direction. When you fully feel the awesome qualities you have that are making it happen, it creates deep feelings of self-confidence and empowerment. These can help filter out the distraction that can dilute your focus on the change you want to bring about.
For me, this last point is one of the most impactful. When we loose track of our greatness, we loose track of ourselves. Without that life force we can easily be overly influence but what is outside of us. Our inner wisdom takes a back seat to the opinions of others.
Click here to read 7 of Most Wonderful Things About You as a Parent. While directed at parents since I am one and surrounded by so many, the qualities are not unique to those of us who parent a human child. Explore the thoughts to find your qualities of greatness.
Let me know how you manage to shift your focus! Marny
Marny Elliott is a Nurtured Heart Approach® (NHA) Trainer, Coach and Emotional Health Therapist. She empowers parents, educators etc. to use this effective, heart centered approach to transform behaviour, build relationships and grow the Inner Wealth® of children. In addition, she provides holistic counselling to adults seeking to address defeating patterns and improve their emotional health. Please visit www.joywithin.ca, email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 250.218.8702.